TASTELESS MARRIAGE? Things that spices up Marriages

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This is almost always a thorny topic but very relevant to most of us in the contemporary world. Since spices makes food delicious, our kitchens have different spices. Marriage is tasteless without spice, It’s not sweet. Ingredients of a spiced marriage like a piece of cake with lemons, vanilla essence, sugar, milk, cream etc. make life bearable.

A spiced marriage is adorable, admirable and long lasting.

What spices up Marriages?

  • Celebrate good times such as anniversaries, birthdays, and other milestones in life.
  • Affirm each other by words like “you look smart” “I value you”. If you fail to affirm your spouse, others will. The colleagues at work, friends will.
  • Show unconditional positive regard towards your spouse. Love and accept them just as they are.

An Un-spiced marriage may have the following characteristics:

  1. Poor communication.
  2. Neglect/ abandonment/ ignoring duties and responsibilities.
  3. Power plays/ over controlling tendencies.
  4. Verbal insults/ loose tongue.
  5. Emotional outbursts/ throwing angry tantrums.
  6. Mood swings.
  7. Secrets negative attitude.
  8. Witch-hunt: What is the sms about and who sent it to you? Scrolling your partner’s phone and trailing their social media always brings trouble and mistrust.

Ways to Mend Bridges and spice up your marriage:

Always ask questions: Do you care for your marriage?

Connect with healthy couples.Love truly with words and actions.
Build values such as respect, hard work, and empathy.Engage in talking and address fundamental issues.
Build resilience.Offer conjugal rights and mutual companionship.
Remember the good times.Engage in continuous learning and develop your skills.
Set healthy boundaries.Grow your faith.
Blanket each other with love.Communicate openly.
Practice forgiveness.Accept you have a challenge/s and seek counselling.

The Author Dr. Jane Nyutu PhD. is a counselling psychologist, the founding Director and lead advisor at Mind & Beyond Counselling Centre.

Want counselling services? Contact us:

Email: [email protected]

Telephone no: +254705270521

References

Fertel, M. (2004). Marriage fitness: An Alternative to counselling.

       4 steps to Building and maintaining phenomenal love.

       Marriage Max, Inc. Baltimore: MD USA.

Dobson, J. (1993). Love must be Tough. New Hope for Marriage in Crisis

      Multmornah Publishers. Rosberg, G. & Barbara (2002). Divorce proof your Marriage.


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